pinkflowerinhands “Aren’t you taking this whole ‘pink Mary Kay’ thing a bit too far?” my neighbor deadpanned last Saturday.

I cringed. I had noticed that my eye was slightly red, and that it felt a little funny, but I figured it was just my allergies.

Then I woke up Sunday—the Fourth of July—with both eyes swollen, red, pussy messes. My awesome Independence Day plans to BBQ-hop through the Naples Peninsula , on bikes, with a gang of friends, were shot to hell.

And that isn’t the worst of it—the worst is the whole “pink Mary Kay” thing my neighbor was talking about.

I am a beauty consultant. I help women feel beautiful and fabulous about themselves and their appearance. I, in turn, am supposed to feel beautiful and fabulous about my appearance. Pink eye (double pink eye, that is) does not enhance my attempts to reach that goal.

Pink eye is disgustingly nasty.

And gooey.

And painful.

And super contagious.

And pretty much a buzz-kill in the beauty biz.

Women are not searching for a beauty consultant who is a Typhoid Mary. I look like a cross between a bullfrog and Mr. McGoo. It’s not a good look—and I made sure that next to nobody saw me.

My July 4 was spent on the coach reading, sleeping, talking on the phone and watching Pedro Almodovar’s “Volver” (much better than I’d remembered). I was able to see the fireworks from my balcony, cuddling my little poodle, Kingston , who was shaking like a leaf. It actually turned out to be a nice day, considering.

Of course, what I ought to have done, instead, was to take my lazy tail to the urgent care clinic instead of waiting until Monday—when, of course, my condition had worsened.

But you know what?

 I’m rocking my sunglasses harder than Jack ever has, and I found that my vintage store Kangol, usually reserved for rainy days, can be pulled all the way down to my nose to conceal the monstrosity lingering beneath.

And as my late mother used to always remind us, “This too shall pass.”

 Susan Jacobs is a freelance writer and a Mary Kay beauty consultant based in Long Beach. She can be reached at