thumbsdown THE HEADLINE: “Tim Grobaty: We want the king of all milkshakes”

THE STORY: The columnist waxes sentimental about the milkshakes his dad used to make while launching a search for the best of the beverages in the world (results due Monday).

PRESS-TELEGRAM COMMENTERS REACT:

Does anyone remember getting My Weekly Reader in school when you were a kid? Me neither, until I bought a copy of the Press Telegram the other day. How THIN can this paper GET, and still be for sale? The’ Grunion GaZETTE laughs at you guys! / I VOTE FOR

What Long Beach needs is more strip joints, not stories on milkshakes. / YUM

You can get a milkshake in the private room in back of the strip joint! / TEABAGING NOW MILKSHAKES

I dumped my subscription to this paper long ago—when Monday’s edition became thinner and less exciting to read than the Penny Saver, I knew it was time. Now if Grobaty would start writing more riveting articles like ‘Best Park Restrooms You Can Use If You Really Really Have To In Long Beach Without Being Robbed Or Killed’ I might resubscribe—oh wait, that has nothing to do with food, never mind. Seriously, the Part-Time-Press-Telegram should just hand over their wallet to the sadly defunct ‘The District’ magazine so it can start hitting the presses again—they did more once a week than the Press-Telegram can do with the other six. / FATSO

Good! That means you have time to get a ladder and get that dead squirrel off the telephone line. Right? Let’s GO!! / NOT TIMS WIFE

Put the squirrel in the blender with a couple scoops of mint chocolate chip ice cream, plus one of those big cans of Foster’s, and you’ve got the winner. / CROAK