suesylvesterphone The people at Live! Events are going to be bringing it at the Long Beach Convention Center Saturday (Feb. 12) … because bringing is what people in the cheerleading and dance competition business do with it. This is the point. This is the code. This is the motto on their website: “I AM JAM … YOU ARE JAM … WE ARE JAM!”

And when the bringing begins—doors open at 7 a.m.—it’s going to be brought Hollywood-style. This probably could have gone without saying, too—Hollywood-style is how they brought it last weekend in Pittsburgh and Hollywood-style is how they plan to bring it next weekend in Detroit—but people designing a cheer-and-dance competition for bouncing young narcissists would never take a risk like that. Their guarantees specify red carpets, paparazzi, a lounge with a DJ, live website streams of performances, and many, many, many exclamation points (!)

Are these kids ready for their closeups? The way the website reads, it sounds like they’d better be:

“From the moment you enter until the moment you leave, you get to be the STAR that you are! We’ve rolled out the red carpet for you, complete with paparazzi photos!  Stop in and shop the JAMwear store (a literal STORE!) for souvenir t-shirts and HOT LIVE! merchandise.  LIVE! truly is a unique experience. With an interactive host to the Hollywood style production, this really is Cheer and Dance turned upside down!”

It goes on:

“As each team is announced, they will walk the red carpet to enter from the FRONT of the stage!  You will be walking down the center of the audience, becoming the CENTER OF ATTENTION!  Walk to your own intro song picked by each team. LIVE!

And on:

“Right before your score is announced, each team member will receive individual performer trophies. Once scores are announced, the current 1st place team will be escorted across the stage to the Leader Lounge! While in the lead, teams can lounge around in this posh area with a REAL DJ spinning tunes for your team. You will remain in the Leader Lounge until your team wins the division or another team beats your score!  Who wants to hang in the Leader Lounge?!”

Before you answer, be advised that this is not all about the glitter and the spirit fingers. The rules of competition are as complex as the tax code and they WILL BE ENFORCED. For example:

Temporary tattoos, medical bracelets, casts with rough edges that have been appropriately padded: ALLOWED.

Rhinestones adhered to the skin as opposed to a uniform, tongue jewelry, intoxicated coaches: NOT.

And lest we forget that these kids are serious athletes:

Back walk overs into back handsprings, and airborne skills involving hand support with at least one hand when passing through the inverted position:  ALLOWED.

Full twisting tumbling to seat or prone body landings, or drops including but not limited to knee, seat, thigh, front, back, and split drops from a jump, stunt, or inverted position with majority of the weight not first borne on the hands or feet to break the impact of the drop: NOT.

All that said, however, there is one thing that the people from Live!Events allow to go nearly without saying: They are from Kentucky.

Bring it on.

LIVE! CHEER & DANCE COMPETITION LONG BEACH CONVENTION AND ENTERTAINMENT CENTER ARENA • 300 E. OCEAN BLVD. • LONG BEACH 90802 • 877.531.5483 • WWW.JAMLIVE.COM • SAT FEB 12 • DOORS OPEN 7AM • FREE