knabesbundt LONG BEACH (via LBReport.com)—Someone inside City Hall has crammed five of the most-significant subjects in City of Long Beach budget debate—police, fire, code enforcement, libraries and parks—into a special Council meeting … that will last only 90 minutes … and begins at 3 in the afternoon.  Yes, this afternoon.

Such curious scheduling obviously raises some questions, and we’ll get to them.

But first, speaking of the obvious, it goes with out saying—and we cannot say that enough—that Supervisor Don Knabe is one heckuva human being, a tireless and effective public servant and an absolutely super Los Angeles County supervisor … and not only because he’s all heckuva and tireless and effective in the human being and public service areas. It’s also, you could even say mostly, because of the absolute keepin’-it-super-ness he exhibits in a very special area, which you might say is anywhere within the vast 4th supervisoral district, although to be precise, you’d have to say it is the extra-special place where Knabe writes the checks. You know, the checks.

The money comes out of Knabe’s discretionary account—well, that’s the last step, anyway. Originally, the money comes quite mandatorily out of the taxpayers’ pocket, to the tune of about $3 million a year. All county supervisors have discretionary accounts, and as the name implies, they can spend the money however they please—maybe by curing the economic woes of a vital service organization, maybe currying favor from people whose votes they desire in the next election.

However Don Knabe spreads around the sweetness, he has been in office since 1996, and we probably all agree—it would be stupid not to—that we are just so, so fortunate that Long Beach is in the Fourth District because … um … otherwise we wouldn’t … you know … have a guy, or of course, a woman–of course a woman—so super … so super-duper, is how Don Knabe has been coming across to lots of us, lately … to be our supervisor. And write the checks.

Meanwhile, we’re back at City Hall, awaiting today’s special 3 o’clock meeting of the Long Beach City Council, which will consider how to pay for police, fire, code enforcement, libraries and parks. It seems we had questions about that—we know we wrote them down … and put them … wow … thought for sure  … actually remember putting them … oh, you got ‘em … wow, OK, thanks—and so here we go with the questions:

1. Why would someone allot an average of 18 minutes each (the 90-minute meeting divided by the 5 items) to issues of major impact to taxpayers, not to mention quality of life?

2. Why would these particular diverse-but-crucial issues be plucked from the Council’s regular meeting and plopped into the middle of the afternoon, which simultaneously prevents most working people from attending or personally addressing the Council—that is, if they even follow the meeting agenda postings closely enough to notice the shift?

3. Why would someone smush those five diverse issues—again, police, fire, code enforcement, libraries and parks—and their far-flung considerations into a single agenda item, which would seem to give Mayor Bob Foster the option of forcing commenters to address all five in a single three-minute address?

Answers?

Bill Pearl of LBReport.com began to float one: “Perhaps it’s because the Council is so busy at its regular Aug. 16 evening meeting with more important matters…”

But Pearl couldn’t keep a straight face—even in print—long enough to finish that audacious sentence: “.. like this one [we're not kidding] agendized by Councilman Robert Garcia: “Recommendation to refer to the Housing and Neighborhoods Committee and the Parks and Recreation Commission to consider naming the basketball courts at 14th Street and Locust Avenue ‘Don Knabe Basketball Courts,’ and report back to City Council with recommendations.”

Kissassery? If not, it’s only because the proper term might be asskissery. But that doesn’t automatically mean that Garcia’s ingratiating smooch isn’t effective governing. Perhaps naming basketball courts for Don Knabe—who laid out $140,000 from his discretionary account for those courts—is truly more fruitful  than trying to have a meaningful Tuesday afternoon discussion among Long Beach council members and their constituents over the funding of parks and recreation in just 90 minutes.

Anyway,  it may not be long until Knabe’s discretionary account is the Long Beach parks and recreation budget.

LBREPORT.COM WILL CARRY THE LONG BEACH CITY COUNCIL’S SPECIAL SESSION LIVE ON ITS FRONT PAGE  AT 3 P.M.