TOO SOON? ARE COMMENTS ON POLITICAL FALLOUT FROM PLANE CRASH IN BAD TASTE OR FAIR TOPIC FOR DEBATE?
By Greater Long Beach
Reaction to Wednesday’s stunning plane crash at the Long Beach Airport—which took the lives of five men, including a few with high and sometimes controversial public profiles—has basically fallen into three categories: 1) expressions of grief and sympathy; 2) discussions of political implications; and 3) calls for those in category 2 to cool it.
The people in category three tend to feel that focusing on the political—rather than the human—aspects of the event is in bad taste. Some believe that a respectful waiting period should be observed; others believe that no amount of time qualifies anybody to speak ill or even analytically of the dead.
What do you think? Bad taste? Poor timing? Good example of civic engagement?
33 Comments
ETIQUETTE AT THE FUNERAL
DO NOT criticize the person in whose honor the entertainment is given.
Make no remarks about his equipment. If the handles are plated, it is best to seem to not observe it.
If the odor of the flowers is too oppressive for your comfort, remember that they were not brought there for you, and that the person for whom they were brought suffers no inconvenience from their presence.
Listen, with as intense an expression of attention as you can command, to the official statement of the character and history of the person in whose honor the entertainment is given; and if these statistics should seem to fail to tally with the facts, in places, do not nudge your neighbor, or press your foot upon his toes, or manifest, by any other sign, your awareness that taffy is being distributed.
If the official hopes expressed concerning the person in whose honor the entertainment is given are known by you to be oversized, let it pass — do not interrupt.
At the moving passages, be moved — but only according to the degree of your intimacy with the parties giving the entertainment, or with the party in whose honor the entertainment is given. Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief. Where the occasion is military, the emotions should be graded according to military rank, the highest officer present taking precedence in emotional violence, and the rest modifying their feelings according to their position in the service.
Do not bring your dog.
I believe that taste, bad or good is always in the eyes of the beholder. As one can tell, in recent months respect for each other has gone into the toilet. If we don’t like it, then we become the paragon of virtue–spouting religion and other substantive issues to prop up our position. If one cannot speak ill of the dead, then it is no wonder Ronald Reagan became untouchable. He was a terrible governor–forcing out the mentally ill to save a dime (today they are called homeless) or putting fees on what was once a great education system in California, or selling guns to Sadam or Gadafi but not in the light of day.(it was called Iran-Contra – and done on the sly) and yet there are those that make him godlike. I personally think THAT is in bad taste, but then so what, it is just my taste.
You cannot convince me that bringing the discussion into the light of day will ever hurt anyone–after all, isn’t it your right as a tax paying citizen to say how you feel or see things and isn’t it just as valid as someone elses vision? It does not matter whether we are in high places or low places, what we see and say is a right given to us under the Constitution. If you don’t believe me, just ask the Supreme Court. Furthermore, I do not believe that anyone who is younger than 95 years of age has much taste anyway.
I think it is reflective of poor timing and, so, bad taste. But most of those who have leapt to the attack in the midst of this tragedy tend to demonstrate both in these fora on a regular basis. So no one should be particularly surprised that they have also chosen to do so now.
Families and friends are grieving. These are good people who have unexpectedly -and violently- just lost someone they dearly love…people who have no part in whatever political challenges some may have had with the deceased. I think those who are using this tragedy as a vehicle for making political statements are being no less insensitive than those WBC idiots who protest at funerals for military personnel killed in battle.
Just because we have a right to say a thing, doesn’t mean it is always right to say it.
President Eisenhower was correct when he said that “you cannot legislate the human heart.” People will be who they are, and thus when tragedies occur, there will always be some who are utterly blind to the pain of the moment and make statements across the spectrum from analysis to twisting the knife. No one can stop people from opening their mouth. The media, however, is wholly within their rights to not publish hurtful comments and really SHOULD give time for those who are directly affected to mourne in peace.
While the plane crash and its impacts on the many families involved is tragic, it is also tragic that our elected official lied to us. The betrayal of the public trust must be dealt with immediately and with vigor. The most important lesson learned from the City of Bell that if you allow the elected officials to act in their self interest and not the public’s interest, faith in government is lost. While I am saddened by the tragic crash, I am more saddened by DeLong’s looting of City assets for the benefit of his close friend and part of his extended family. How many cops could have been hired if DeLong had been looking out for the best interest of the public rather than the best interest of his friends? When is the right time to discuss public corruption?
It is kind of tacky to say mean things about dead people, so I am going to refrain from it.
But I do think there is an interesting moral lesson to be learned from the loss of these six men. I keep hearing nothing but good things and lots of love and sadness for Mark Bixby. For Tom Dean? Not one positive lament for his loss–except DeLong’s sudden claim at close friendship.
My thought is, since you can not take your riches with you, what is gained when you leave behind a legacy of misdeeds and controversy?
I hope Dwight K Snider can find a good quote for this.
Obviously, even as an all-but stranger to these men, I want the best for their survivors in a difficult time. But having followed the issues they have been involved in, it is clear that some look upon them as saints and some look upon them as slimeballs.
So, live as a saint, die as a saint; live as a slimeball, die as a slimeball; live as a family man, die as a family man; live as a man flying off to recreate without his family; die as a man flying off to recreate without his family.
I had met and spoken with Mark on a few occasions and found him personally charming and engaging. A newsgeek friend of mine (who doesn’t know any of the men personally) told me her greatest pain on hearing of this terrible accident was learning that Mark Bixby was a friend of Tom Dean’s. “He should have died in bed with a hooker and kept his reputation,” she said.
Harsh, but expressive of another legitimate pain in our community that the perception of Mark’s good works, and the circumstances under which his sudden death occurred, can bring to us.
My comments questioning Councilman DeLong’s honesty, integrity and relationships with the deceased developers have been censored from the Bemont Shore Patch, the LBPost, the LBReport and the Press Telegram. Meanwhile, these same media sources published every terrible, rabid, and attacking comment that villified Doug Zerby’s after he was killed by police for being intoxicated and having the bad luck of holding a hose nozzle. Where is the consistency? Why the hypocricy?
The majority of my comments have been pointing a questioning finger at Councilman DeLong, an elected representative who has lied so many times he has difficulty keeping his lies straight. When will there be a correct forum to point that out? Will it be months from now when everyone has forgotten about it?
Councilman DeLong portrayed himself as the messenger of bad news to his “close friends and extended family.” As a public official, DeLong warrants the attention he drew upon himself. History shows DeLong is always out in front when it comes to his prominent developer and bar owners buddies. What people need to ask themselves is where was DeLong when Melody Ross was killed by a gang shooting? Where was DeLong when Doug Zerby was mistakenly killed by the police? Where was DeLong when the wetlands were being bulldozed? The answer is DeLong was nowhere to be found. He refused to respond to questions or interview requests. Unless an issue has something to do with pushing through city council a sweet taxpayer paid deal for one of his developer or bar owner buddies, DeLong typically could care less.
I applaud Greater Long Beach for allowing this dialog to occur, no matter how tasteless it may appear to some people. By sweeping questionable conduct of elected officials under the rug, other media sources do democracy an injustice and perpetuate the poor reputation of Long Beach.
In my opinion, Councilman DeLong has some explaining to do.
Citizen Journalist Quote of the Day – For Whom the Bell Tolls
“No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as a manor of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man’s death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”
Source: John Donne (1572 – 1631) “No Man’s An Island”
People who make angry, negative comments at a time like this are usually angry, negative people. I feel sorry for them, because I don’t believe that is any way to go thru life. As far as Tom Dean goes, I knew him as a loving friend and incredible father. I agree with what one personal friend of Tom’s said: that he was a “behind the scenes” type of guy. He would help people
generously and sometimes without them even knowing. Those who criticize should take a closer look at themselves. Peace.
At the suggestion of a mutual friend, Tom Dean very generously offered to help me analyze a real estate related business venture I was considering. He had nothing to gain. I learned a bit about his personal life in the process, and found him to be a good guy. May he rest in peace.
Jo, do you think it’s ever possible for someone to be a “bad person” yet not ever go to jail? Do you think it’s possible for a “bad person” to die? You seem like a terrified person. Please explain.
Actually Jo, the question posed in the article, “Are comments on political fallout coming from the plane crash in bad taste or fair topic for debate? (An interesting question coming from a journalist). And further, ” Some believe that no amount of time qualifies anybody to speak ill or even analytically of the dead.”
I sometimes cringe when I read blog comments, letters to the editor etc.–but I will always defend a person’s right to state their views!! And sometimes I learn things- which is hard to do- about Long Beach.
Even 3rd District Councilman (PT) when speaking of the wetlands stated…
“…now I’m concerned..obviously the plane crash was a personal tragedy, but it’s a setback for the city’” Political implication? I wouldn’t be so hard on other bloggers-obviously they experienced a different relationship than you did with one of the victims. Should one never speak ill of the dead?
If you believe that–then burn every history book you own.
I have just sat back and observed the childish bickering about sleazy politics and “who has who” in their back pocket. All of that is so irrelevant now! The Tom Dean you didn’t know, loved his boys more than anything. THAT was his number one priority and for him to not be here to watch them grow up; that is the real tragedy. You all need to step back for a moment and think about these four boys, say a prayer for them and their future without a father.
I think that the comments questioning the honesty and integrity of the deceased, and their friends, at a time when this tragedy is still being felt by families and the community, reflects nothing more than the pitiable condition of the writers.
Death brings out a lot in people, and although we tend to respect the dead, there is no reason that their deaths should not be part of the Political Dialogue when they chose lives that are part of the Political Dialogue. Further, when it brings about truth like how corrupt Politicians like Gary DeLong and Robert Garcia really are, they have done an additional service to their community. Robert Garcia who snuck his way in to Long Beach City Council by getting as many votes as a candidate for high school President, pretended he is a Democrat a Latino and a Gay man, and now is championing a parade for the loss of these men’s lives. These men who truthfully have been embroiled in controversy. When was the last time Robert championed the unjust death of an average every day citizen? The death of anyone saddens me, but most of us did not know them because most of us could not afford the Country Club. Robert and Gary are lovers of the power elite. They both are banking on financial contributions from this group to forward their Political careers, but they have been too sloppy. Gary this is your last office, and Robert, the Zebra has shown his stripes. If you want to get elected to another Office, you’d best switch back to Republican. You share no values with the Democratic party authentically, and when you campaign again, this will all be revealed. So in keeping with our Spirit of respect for mourning, may Robert and Gary’s Political careers Rest in Peace.
good lesson here, you dont write your own obituary.
Gordana, I don’t remember you chastising people for commenting poorly of Doug Zerby when he was killed by the police for having the bad luck of having a hose nozzle in his hand. Could your defense of Councilman DeLong be because he appointed you to the sustainability commission. We all know DeLong ONLY appoints his friends and supporters to any commission. And who is pitiable?
Tom Dean was a wonderful man and an incredible father. Those that have negative things to say about him clearly did not take the time to get to know him. I am honored to be able to call him a friend. Perhaps there are not more comments like this posted simply because those he was closest to are too grief stricken to post on websites. One thing is for certain, he will be deeply missed by his friends and family.
The amount of new information revealed by this tragic accident is really quite remarkable. As are the lengths to which other media outlets in town go to keep from openly discussing and analyzing it.
Correct me if I am wrong, but I think this horrible accident gave us the first picture of Tom Dean published in the Press-Telegram, despite his years-long status as a public figure in town. It was not a flattering picture, and I say that without ever having laid eyes on Tom Dean. It appeared to be a police booking photo — I’m assuming this is from the occasion when Long Beach police were called to Dean’s house to investigate a claim of domestic violence against him made by his wife.
If I recollect those news stories correctly, Steve Cooley had the ultimate decision on whether to press charges against Tom Dean, and he declined. Cooley went on to lose a close race for California attorney general to a woman. I never looked at the exit polling data, but I’m guessing Cooley lost the vote of every Long Beach woman (and man) who cares about domestic violence against women with his determination to look the other way on this high-profile case. He certainly lost the votes in my household.
Those of us fighting domestic violence against women were appalled, but ultimately not surprised, by the outcome of the complaint against Dean. I would love to have some female socialites in town (but only those who claim to admire Dean as a great guy, family man, charity stalwart, et al ad nauseum) comment publicly on why they think Tom Dean didn’t go to jail for this. I think their answers would be fascinating, even without puting their answers side-by-side with any documenting police photos taken of his wife that night.
My newsgeek friend, who brooks no quarter for bullies, is in favor of having abusive men removed from the lives of their children, especially boys, so that the young and impressionable don’t learn how to bully, assault and traumatize women by example. Or, in her words: “I’d prefer that the men remain alive when this happens, but who am I to argue if God wants to do it Her way.”
oh yeah. the wifebeating and attendent whitewashing. forgot about that.
good to know he was an excellent father though, that really puts things in perspective…
hey dave!
did the less than glowing comments about dean et al make pearl remove you from lbreport?
relieved to see that people are saying what I’ve been thinking. The wetlands just breathed a sigh of relief.
Watch for DeLong to request City Council to purchase the remainder of the wetlands from Dean and Berger’s family for $100 million as a magnanimous gesture to his deceased friends and extended family. After all, DeLong pushed through the court over-ruled Home Depot plan and the wetlands swap for his close friends and extended family. Why stop there? There’s lots of taxpayer money left to hand out to his personal friends.
let there be freedom of speech, let the truth be known, let us know the truth…. and if there is NOTHING TO HIDE, then so be it. Let the dead rest in peace, but let us have the truth and make the greedy and unethical accountable.
Aside from popular opinion, if men that are “pillars” of the community are dishonest let the rest of us know.
was delong behind the seawall repair giveaway as well?
Dean and his lackey DeLong have been behind every dirty deal in the city in this century. Villains don’t become heroes when they die.
I am also deeply saddened that Mark Bixby found Tom Dean’s friendship valuable. It’s haunting.
Yes Howard, Councilman DeLong pushed through the naples seawall giveaway repair as well. By the way, Tom Dean owned the largest home in Naples on Treasure Island. Need I say more.
thanks mike, i figured as much.
Autopsies were once considered sacreligious and a crime against human decency. Thank goodness some brave souls at the dawn of the renaissance decided they’d rather know how bodies actually worked and faced the risk of possible execution to exhume the deceased and observe and report on what was there, instead of just believing the myths that powerful forces wanted them to believe.
Modern medical knowledge that saves and extends lives is the direct result.
Thanks for the opportunity to do a real post-mortem here, Dave. It’s painful to some, true, and yet of extraordinary value for the rest of us interested in combating whitewashing, mendacity and ignorance. No one else in town had the stones.
A letter I copied from another newspaper:
To The Editor,
I was very taken aback and appalled when Councilman Gary DeLong quickly released the names of the recent plane crash victims to the public.
Many of their relatives and friends had yet to receive word about the tragedy and had to find out via DeLong’s statements to the press. One would think that after years of being in his position, he would act with a bit more discretion.
He claims he was friends with these men, yet he acted with zero respect for their loved ones. I hope this can be a lesson to Delong, his colleagues and the local press on how not to break news.
Reading back through all of the awful, blind & ignorant hate written about Tom Dean in the year since his tragic death still sickens me. All of you, (especially you Mike Ruehle, who didn’t even know him personally!) commented on a man’s life based on hearsay and rumors. He did NOT beat his wife! He found out she was cheating on him & had taken a group of friends to NYC for the weekend via his plane and paid for the entire trip for everyone (not the first affair either). He was leaving the home after an argument and was trying to stop her from hitting him (in the police report – look it up…he pushed her back so he could get out of the house and she fell). Neither of them are right, you should never touch your spouse…ever! But, he didn’t beat her and that is why charges weren’t filed. Mr. Ruehle, you will be happy to know that his estate (his 4 children basically) have nothing left, he had let his life insurance lapse & now that the house sold and is covering the lawsuits, his ex-wife & boyfriend now live in Texas. I really hope it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside!