greatestlogowhiteout The Best ofLong Beach? Seriously? Gotta say, we did not see that one coming. But if you’re sure … let’s get ‘er done.  This shouldn’t take long.

We nominate The District Weekly!

You heard right, and if any outfit in Long Beachever did the “Best of” thing better than that late, great alternative weekly, we want to hear about it. The District’s loosey-goosey gaggle of mostly home-grown contributors wrote from a familiarity with the city so intimate that it was impossible to filter out their deep love for the place—or their hard-earned fatalism, resilient hope and stinging humor. Their perspective transformed theLong Beach version of the “Best of” model—the publishing industry’s most-hackneyed tool for currying favor with prospective advertisers—into something nearly new: a lively, imaginative, emotional and almost journalistically legitimate tool for currying favor with prospective advertisers.

Anyway, are there any other nominations? We’re guessing the silence means we can wrap this up.

We move that The District Weekly’s “Best of Long Beach” be recognized as the “Best ‘Best of Long Beach’” by acclamation … and further that we save ourselves from going through this every year by further acclaiming that “Best of Long Beach” be affixed eternally to The District Weekly’s “Best of Long Beach.” (Although, can you even imagine any self-respectingLong Beach publication attempting to reincarnate the “Best of Long Beach” under its own imprimatur?) Alright,  hearing no objection … it’s done!

And just in time for a special announcement:

LBReport.com and GreaterLongBeach.comare teaming up—with you—-on a quest for greatness. (Don’t worry, this isn’t some inward-looking exercise that ultimately reveals us to be our own superheroes.)

Our shared mission is to track down the greatness outside ourselves—but within the Greater Long Beach area—wherever in our vast and diverse region it may be, and in whatever form of person, place, thing, situation, beverage, history, service, influence, style, tradition, song, food, art, accomplishment, etc. it may take.

And then? Why, we reward ourselves with that greatness, sampling it, reveling in it, perhaps being inspired by it but certainly sharing it with others—by nominating it for The Greatest of Long Beach.

GreaterLongBeach.com and LBReport.com will begin accepting your nominations for The Greatest of Long Beach beginning  … right … about … NOW—and by that we mean at whatever moment you happen to be reading this story—and continuing until … uhhh … we’re really not sure, yet.  A few weeks? A month? More? Maybe simply when we start to tire, since we’ll be out there, too. But don’t sweat it, we’ll let you know. Definitely.

Meanwhile, you’re probably waiting for the List of Official Rules, Regulations, Qualifications, Exemptions, Age and Height Requirements, Deposits, Action Figures, Release Forms, Fast-Food Sponsors, Insurance Waivers, Credit Card Offers, Plush Toys, Emergency Numbers, T-shirts, Gift Bags, Opportunity Drawings and Free Turtle? Not gonna happen. Our pursuit of The Greatest of Long Beach is so pure that we don’t even have any categories! 

If you know of something great—maybe, for example the locally bornHof’s Hut restaurant chain—you might nominate it for The Greatest Local Restaurant Chain. But maybe you feel the only truly great thing on the menu is the Hofburger—then maybe you nominate it for The Greatest Hamburger.  But maybe it’s not the food that draws you in, but the sunken, circular bar in one particular restaurant—then you are nominating that bar in that restaurant as The Greatest Sunken Circular Bar.

See?

You are free to send your nominations in any form—a simple list of various and sundry greatness will get some consideration.  But the better case you make for your nomination, the more convincing, helpful and interesting it will be. So try to include a few well-considered lines about what it is, exactly, that you like about Hof’s Hut (that it’s local, that it started on the beach, that Craig Hoffman is a bitchen guy) or the Hofburger (that it’s messy, that special sauce, that your grandpa used to buy them for you) or that sunken, circular bar (it’s unique, it makes you feel dizzy without drinking a thing, you met your wife there).

Send as many nominations and descriptions of  The Greatest of Long Beach as you want—the only limit is the Greatness of the Greater Long Beach area—but you must send them via e-mail. No letters, cards or phone calls will be accepted.

Send them to: TheGreatest@greaterlongbeach.com

Send … them … NOW!