ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE: ONE QUESTION … FOR COUNCILMAN ROBERT GARCIA
By Dave WielengaOne of several how-to reports that together comprise the Zombie Survival Guide, an effort by Greater Long Beach to ensure that the local populace is prepared for the Oct. 29 invasion of downtown Long Beach by thousands of the not-so-grateful dead for a full Saturday activities leading up to the 8 p.m. Zombie Walk and the Dead Man’s After Party. Because … it’s gonna get ugly.
The back story: Robert Garcia, the frat-faced 33-year-old who represents the 1st district on the Long Beach City Council, is a comic-book freak who admits without shame that he models his values against those of Superman. And then there was the time at Sipology when he modeled as Superman. So the coinciding arrival in downtown Long Beach of Zombie Walk IV (Oct. 29) and Comic-Con (Oct. 29-30)—not to mention the long-standing connection between zombies and comic books … of course, you already knew there is a Zombie Superman—has set us a-wondering …
The question: In a fight between Zombie Superman and the real Superman, who would win?
Robert Garcia’s answer: Wow! I mean, that would be a tough fight! Because Zombie Superman can’t die—being a zombie—so he has same powers as Superman, and he can regenerate his body during the fight. And Superman would never kill anybody. Even if he wanted to kill Zombie Superman, he wouldn’t do it. But I would put my money on the real deal. The real Superman would kick his zombie butt. For example, Superman could throw Zombie Superman into the Phantom Zone. Or Superman could take Zombie Superman and fly him into the middle of the sun, where it would take generations for him to regenerate his body. So there are just two ways—and those are right off the top of my head, not something I read in a comic book. I came up with them myself. So there’s absolutely no question in my mind that if Zombie Superman shows up for the Zombie Walk that Superman would fly into Pine Avenue and save the day.
















8 Comments
“a comic-book freak who admits without shame that he models his values against those of Superman”
No wonder Long Beach is in trouble
OK… umm…ahh…well now…does Garcia know Superman was not a politician ???
Are you kidding me?????? A city councilman who models himself after a cartoon character. And how old is he?
No wonder Long Beach is in such trouble
Hello Mr. Ruehle:
Just for fun, can you — and anyone else who wants to join in — think of the respective comic-book character each councilmember may model him- herself after?
Looking forward…
Glad Suja is my council person. Surely she would know that Superman does not have regenerative powers.
delong is zippy the pinhead! no wait thats bob foster or is it garcia?
Mayor Foster and Councilman DeLong model themselves after Abbott and Costello. The whole “Who’s on First?” routine reminds me of their participation in a typical city council meeting.
blob and delong are more along the lines of Paul Winchell and Jerry Mahoney, with garcia, andrews and o’donnell alternating as knucklehead smiff.