blessed
  1. Taking the bus. Zippy, nice drivers, and no paying to park.
  2. The bus’s captive audience. You can blather on at anyone and they have to listen. It’s just like an AA meeting! That takes you somewhere!
  3. The common purpose of the people on the bus. Forgot your bike on the rack? The old ladies who got off with you will run into the street, banging their canes, the whole community coming together to stop that bus!
  4. My student bus pass. $36 a month? Thanks, society! I appreciate you!
  5. The Night of the Living Olds. You know who’s old? People on the bus in Koreatown! And all the old Korean couples take the bus together.
  6. Because they are life companions.
  7. That’s nice!
  8. My son has never been a picky eater.
  9. He eats whatever I dare him to, even when it is pho with tripe and tendons.
  10. He’s also great on road trips. Mellow, and congenial, and if he puts his foot down about something, it’s so rare that I do what he says.
  11. Like this one motel outside Santa Fe, which totally had bedbugs, but I wanted to stay there because it had pictures of the Virgin of Guadalupe.
  12. But he said no, we had to stay at the hundred-dollar-a-night place in town, which was luxurious and beautiful.
  13. Since he put his foot down, we totally did.
  14. And it was worth it.
  15. But that was when he was eight, which was not this year.
  16. But we’re taking a road trip this week, to see my mama!
  17. So I think that counts.
  18. My mama always likes to hear the “long version” of whatever I’m outraged about at the moment.
  19. Meaning every nuance of whichever person looked at me cross-eyed.
  20. I love that about her.
  21. USC’s Health Center.
  22. I got to get all my skin growths checked out. No cancer yet!
  23. Then they burned one off, and I had a gross dead black thing on my collarbone while I waited for it to fall off.
  24. But still not cancer!
  25. If I were all young and sexy and undergrad-like, I could get checked for STDs!
  26. Luckily, I am old.
  27. With a very nice boyfriend, who is not the type who brings home special “gifts.”
  28. Like this other boyfriend I once had.
  29. I am sure glad we didn’t get married.
  30. That other boyfriend, not this one.
  31. Oh hey, I went to Cuba!
  32. With my handsome boyfriend, “el Chino guapo”!
  33. That was pretty kickass.
  34. Thanks, FourStory!
  35. Also, for paying my rent.
  36. That was super of you.
  37. Also, we went to Hawaii.
  38. Because nothing says “funemployment” like saying, fuck it, dudes, let’s jet off to an island.
  39. We met scary mean Hawaiians in Waipio Valley.
  40. Where I got my picture taken with some awesome dogs.
  41. Then I started school.
  42. Which came with benefits.
  43. So’s I could burn my growths off.
  44. Also, school gave me muneez.
  45. And now I got another scholarship, besides my Annenberg Fellowship! But they haven’t announced it yet, so I’ll keep it zipped.
  46. But it came with $1500, just for being me.
  47. Life sort of rules sometimes.
  48. Thanks, life!
  49. I have a nice home.
  50. I can pay my bills.
  51. My pets are extremely polite.
  52. I take this as a reflection on me.
  53. I have become a decent cook sometimes.
  54. I like President Obama.
  55. Even though he is not really a great negotiator.
  56. He really does give away the store on his very first offer.
  57. I wish he would stop doing that.
  58. It is not working out awesome.
  59. But hey, at least Rahm’s gone.
  60. That guy was superlame.
  61. Fuck that guy!
  62. I love Bernie Sanders.
  63. Now everybody else loves Bernie Sanders too!
  64. I am sorry about Russ Feingold.
  65. But this is not a list of things I’m sorry about.
  66. Maybe next week!
  67. In fact, yes! Now I’ve got next week’s story all-thunked-up!
  68. My mama was named one of the top 100 teachers in LAUSD.
  69. Oh, I crowed!!!
  70. Did you know Jerry Brown visited her classroom, back in The Day?
  71. Speaking of … can you BELIEVE IT?
  72. My dad is 72. And he is still alive! I love that about him!
  73. My family is nice a lot of the time.
  74. At least, we’re better than Mel Gibson.
  75. Ugh.
  76. What if Mel Gibson was your Dad?
  77. This. You need to watch the hell out of this video!
  78. I got jury duty!
  79. I don’t understand why anyone would try to get out of jury duty.
  80. Who doesn’t love to judge???
  81. Nancy Pelosi.
  82. I mean I am thankful for her, not that she doesn’t love to judge. I’m sure she does!
  83. Gavin Newsom.
  84. Our bitchen, beautiful new AG, Kamala Harris.
  85. California, I am proud of you!!! Good job!
  86. Now I am tired.
  87. And will take a nap.
  88. I can do that, because school is out now.
  89. I learned stuff, too.
  90. Like that I am awesome! Haha!
  91. But also other stuff probably.
  92. Like that it is fun to take the bus.

READ MORE COMMIE GIRL (AND JIM WASHBURN!) AT FOURSTORY.ORG