beerpong While I was unemployed—for nearly 1 ½ years, until just three weeks ago—I considered wearing a “Somebody Give This guy a Go# D@mn job!” T-shirt with my e-mail address on it. Besides being a lame idea, it turns out not to have been unique. Also, I didn’t take it far enough.

A guy named Andrej Bula just sent me a note seeking publicity for his new recession-inspired business, Hire Me Tee, Inc. “Since you cover the unemployment situation in your recent articles,” Bula noted, “I thought it would be worthwhile for you to consider mentioning my company.”

Hire Me Tee, Inc., is an apparel company that features a trademarked Hire Me logo on T-shirts, sweatshirts and hoodies. The T-shirts can be imprinted with slogans like “Hire Me. Seeking Job in Engineering,” “Hire Me. I’m an Accountant” or “Hire Me. I’m Greek.”

Bula says that Hire Me Tee, Inc. “was developed to serve as a resource for students, job seekers, and entrepreneurs to directly connect with prospective employers in their area through networking while they are out in public.” An accompanying press release suggests that “Wearing a Hire Me t-shirt serves as a quasi walking billboard, promoting ones self to the public and allowing for networking in a friendly, fun and relaxed manner.”

Bula then quotes statistics from the U.S. Bureau of Labor that claim 70 percent of all jobs are found through networking.

“During this difficult employment climate, I believe it is important that your readers be aware of this ‘out of the box’ method of meeting new contacts, networking, and expanding their client base,” he writes. “Job seekers are often recognized and rewarded with this type of creativity; ultimately a Hire Me t-shirt may lead to an employment opportunity.”

I might be a little more critical of Bula’s idea if there hadn’t been so few revolutionary products or services to emerge during our extended economic slump. Go ahead and name some. All I can come up with is the iPad, and I think that’s just a gimmick to entice people who own iPhones, MacBooks and iPods to go out and purchase yet another pricey Apple product. (As a Mac enthusiast, I can say that without fear of being labeled a hater.) 

Instead, I say lets laud Bula for his new idea. I’d expect with thinking like that—that is, parlaying others’ unemployment into making a buck—he’ll soon be climbing swiftly up the corporate ladder at some company in Middle America.

If not, Bula, nice try.

[ CIA Director Seeks Employment---or Maybe a T-Shirt]

 Right below Bula’s release in my inbox was another release that caught the eye:

“Press Release/collection offer. This is not a prank collection offer. 50% reward on money recovered from Microsoft Employment Fraud, stolen movies and stolen concert proceeds. This case can also viewed by clicking on: www.TheftCase.com or www.TheftCases.Com.”

I did not click, and recommend AGAINST anyone doing so.

The release continues: “Yes, I am formerly commander and director Rapaport of the CIA. The Central Intelligence Agency fired me so that they could get away with bank frauding me for money I made writing small parts of microsofts product line and for money I made writing various movies, with out being prosecuted.

“I practiced law enforcement for free for the 5 years I was in it part time in order so that they would not accuse me of conflict of interest or accepting gratuities for the money I made in the film, computer and music industries. At this point I would rather sue the military for back pay and for denying that my career ever existed rather than be poor the rest of my life.

“If we can get the military to admit this then we should be able to get 5 years part time pay at minimum of  70K per year which =  $350,000.00 /  2 (because part time instead of full time) = $175,000.00.”

Hey, Bula, this guy needs a T-shirt, and he needs one now.   

[ Long Beach Threatens Biggest Little City in the World ]

 It seems some tourism officials in Reno consider Long Beach a threat. They’re worried that California’s fifth-largest city could steal some tourists from the second-best-known gambling destination in Nevada.

Their concerns were aired in a story that appeared in the Sunday edition of the Reno Gazette Journal:

“Reno and Sparks city officials were stunned when Hot August Nights officials announced plans in June to share their fantasy with Long Beach, Calif., starting next summer. HAN officials said they must expand to pay for the high cost of producing the event in Reno and Sparks, estimated to cost $700,000 in combined city services.”

The article goes on to state: “Tourist officials fear Long Beach will steal some of Reno’s Hot August Nights crowds. The event gave Long Beach the first weekend in August next year, a date that had been Reno’s for most of 24 years.”

Don’t know whom to pat on the pack on that one. I’m wondering if the mild-mannered looking folks at the Long Beach Convention and Visitors Bureau right now are high-fiving one another in one of the city’s numerous dive bars? Hey, may be the city’s got Reno beat in that category, as well.